The Brainiac is having a hard time. It’s been about four months since The Social Guy moved out, and while I don’t feel the details are mine to tell, it wasn’t a pretty move. The four of us left at home feel like we’ve lost a family member. And I don’t mean ‘lost’ as in we can’t find him. I mean ‘lost’ as in he’s no longer alive.
I don’t always know how to comfort my kids as we’re going through this. I don’t really have any wise things to tell them¹, and this is one of those things I can’t make better with a band-aid and a kiss. Plus, I’m grieving myself.
While the psychology experts will tell you there are 5 stages of grief: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, I will tell you that we bounce from one stage to the other on a pretty rapid cycle. And since there are four of us experiencing this loss – guess what? We all rapid cycle at different times.
There are times when I hold my grieving, angry, crying, youngest son, and whisper into his ear that I have hope. I have hope that The Social Guy will find a way back. That the things that have been done can be un-done. As the days, weeks, and months go by…I believe less and less. And I am left helping a family grieve a boy who, even though he’s just miles away, feels like he’s gone forever.
¹The only thing I have to tell them is this: