“It’s Certainly What Makes Her So Profoundly Unhappy.” ~Sir Olivier

*Disclaimer: I really don’t know ANY THING about Marilyn Monroe and I am not in ANY WAY saying that I am a ‘Marilyn Monroe’.

Last night we watched “My Week With Marilyn”:

It was a tough film for me to watch, especially with my fight on Thursday with The Deep Dark Hole. I had no idea that Marilyn suffered from mental illness. It was hard for me to see her *fine* one moment and then curled up in a ball in the hallway, crying, the next moment. Seeing her lay in bed, unable to get out was intense. I could see her ‘trying’ – you know, trying to smile, be normal, happy, and *okay*. There were scenes in the movie that I felt could be a mirror of my own mental health struggles – without the whole fame thing…

What really drove the movie home was the end. ***spoiler alert***

Sir Laurence Olivier is reminiscing about Marilyn with Colin Clark:

Sir Olivier says to Clark, “She’s quite wonderful. No training, no craft, no guile, just pure instinct. Astonishing.”

Clark responds, “You should tell her that.”

Sir Olivier says one of the most profound movie lines I have ever heard, “Oh, I will. But she won’t believe me. That’s probably what makes her great. It’s certainly what makes her so profoundly unhappy.”

Sir Olivier goes on to say another brilliant line, “I tried my best to change her, but she remains brilliant despite me.”

You see, this past week in counseling we touched on the subject of taking – REALLY TAKING – a compliment. Some of us have trouble hearing compliments. The Voice in our head likes to block those out. It likes to get out our cell phone and look over abusive texts from a loved one. The Voice likes to point out all our failures:

• How many plants we’ve killed.
• How we suck at gardening.
• That we’re fat.
• That we don’t get much accomplished during the day.
• That I killed my blog by being impatient.
• That I was the one who told Dave that he needed to go straight on the night of my car accident. I killed my baby.
• I lost my son.
• Close friends have abandoned me because I’m awful.
• That I never fold laundry right away.
• How I’m too lazy to take super old polish off my toes.
• The fact that I’m not super organized, or even *slightly* organized.
• And EVER OTHER THING THAT IS BAD AND WRONG WITH ME…

So I am working on that ‘take a compliment’ thing, because I don’t want to live life profoundly unhappy.