Inspired/Repulsed: Two Sides of the Same Coin

I’m struggling with weight loss…again. Which isn’t a surprise because I think I’ve blogged about this subject so-many-times….and here I am again.

Here’s the thing, I got hurt last summer running Ragnar¹ and I kind of ignored it. I wanted to be strong and non-injured so I ran a couple times after Ragnar and I continued to mountain bike. Mistake. I know.

So after the last mountain bike race of last season I forced myself to take it easy and allow my feet to heal. BUT I did not adjust my eating/drinking habits. Guess what? I gained a ton of weight and now here I am AGAIN struggling with my weight.

Now I *want* to tell you that I’m seriously committed to losing weight right now because I refuse to start this mountain bike season weighing over 200 pounds² and that would be true. But do you know what else is true?

I want to fit in the purple/black dress I bought for Ragnar.

And I know this is vain.

I know I could find another super cool dress in ‘my size’ to wear for the race.

But I don’t want to.

I want to wear *this* one.

I want to wear it and NOT have to alter/modify it.

And I’m going to have to work my ass off (and I don’t mean the ‘normal’ work your ass off, I mean REALLY FUCKING WORK MY ASS OFF) all Spring and Summer just so I can fit into a dress.

Inspiring? Repulsive? Maybe a bit of both.

¹ wow…I don’t even think I posted about Ragnar last summer. Well trust me, IT WAS AWESOME!

²  I did that last year and vowed to never to it again.