I don’t know if you’ve ever blogged before, but if you have, you’ve probably taken a break for some reason or another. Maybe you were doing something cool like writing a book, having a baby, or being a contestant on the show Survivor and you didn’t have internet access. But sometimes bloggers take breaks for no apparent reason. Or maybe it’s a reason they don’t want to talk about.
Or maybe…just maybe…they take a break because their blog no longer seems to fit them.
This morning, I re-read my very first blog post. It was all “I AM PRINCESS! HERE ME ROAR!” and I can’t help but feel a bit….sad? This whole blogging, Facebook, Internet Personality, Bigger Than Me “thing” used to be so awesome.
I remember when I hit 100 fans on Facebook, then 1000, and eventually over 8,000¹! It was cool to reach out to so many other people and brighten their day, give them hope, make them smile, or have them laughing out loud
at me with me. I smile when I think of the very first MFP BFF, Katie. And I feel like I did some pretty cool shit: Not Top Chef challenges, Mountain Bike Racing, Ragnar, Rock Band Parties, dyed my hair pink, made it to the top 8 on Blogger Idol, shared my love for Curlformers, and had a kick ass birthday give-away bash, just to name a few.
Then life slowed or stopped while I went through some heartbreaking family and friend stuff. Then had ankle surgery…twice.
So here I am. My ankle’s fused. My hair is brown. I’ve gained forty pounds. I’m out of shape. I wear nothing but pajama shorts and sports bras. I’ve disconnected from my blog, Facebook page, and even “real-life”.
Things will come along, like training for a 5k or 10k and I’ll feel a bit of excitement, but then I’ll get sick or whatever. Training will be put on hold and I go back to sitting on the couch. I’ve even gotten on the bike once or twice and tried practicing my skills:
I’ll get excited over new companies I’ve found, but then drop the ball when other people fall in love with the company too. Friends will ask me to go hang out or go dancing, usually I cancel at the last minute, simply because I don’t really think I’m that much fun to be around.
I might even put on make-up and wear real clothes for a week or two, but most of my clothes are too small for me and I don’t want to spend money on clothes that never seem to fit right. I’m too small for Lane Bryant and Catherine’s but to big for Target and Kohl’s. Plus, I’m not really going anywhere, so what’s the point?
Here I am, staring at the computer screen and my blog.
Wondering if I’m even a freakin’ princess anymore?
¹At some point in time I decided I was no longer The MFP. I was going to be a “real” writer and I convinced Facebook to let me change my page name to Kimberly M. Olson. That was a mistake. Far too many people started to “dislike” me as my real name. So…..a new MFP page and back down to 1000 fans that I’m sure have forgotten me and I continue to ignore. Plus, I’m not a “real” write so there is that.