Don’t let me get me.

When I started writing this post, I wrote on and on about how it’s so irritating being me sometimes, but then I had to put the post on hold while I ran Kade to his friend’s house and met up with a new therapist¹. I got home and decided that my original post was too long and whiny. Let’s just cut the crap and get down to business.

I’m sensitive to pretty much everything: hot, cold, dry air, tags, heights, bugs (also “bugs”), the sun, my own sweat, people’s feelings, and pretty much every other fucking thing you can think of.

And it’s wearing me out.

On Tuesday I mentioned to a friend that I would just really, really like to be someone else. You know, someone who’s easy breezy, way less controlling, and high strung than myself. Someone who can take criticism easily and not need things to be a certain way. Someone who takes chances and really puts themselves out there.

Someone else.

Just. not. me.

Then on Wednesday, I think I had a break through at family counseling. Jessica, The Family Therapist, started talking about choosing. It’s kinda the same thing Nathan has tried to helped me see before, but for whatever reason I needed to drive a half hour to Jessica’s office and pay her $55 in order for it to make sense.

Basically, I can choose. I have that power and I use that power everyday. I just need to start making different choices. Sure, it sounds simple enough, but we all know that just because you know you can choose differently, this doesn’t mean you do. Sometimes even if we know it, we still can’t do it. But what ever…I’m diverging.

Later on that day I got an email from my sister:

“I especially like this quote because it talks about becoming the person you “are”, not who you want to be. I like the thought of being you, being your best you.

Just wanted to share.

~lisa elizabeth”

Screen Shot 2014-09-25 at 3.50.02 PMYou see, I’m not feeling like “me” lately and I’m certainly not feeling like the best me. I’ve been in so much physical and mental pain in the last three years. I haven’t been able to heal from it. So I’ve pulled back and withdrew my love, affection, and attention from people.

I’ve been distancing myself for so long that I can’t figure out how to stop. Sure, I’ve made an effort. I go to our weekly homeschool group and I haven’t exactly avoided all social gatherings, but I can’t say that I’ve actually been participating either.

Last night my friend, Jean, shared this link from Momastery: This is What Brave Means

It was as though all of these things were pieces of a puzzle that was coming together slowly, but clearly they went together:

I haven’t been brave.

I’ve forgotten that I’m Imperfect & I’m Enough.

And even though I’ve been through (and I’m still going through) so much transition, I need to remind myself that perfection isn’t reality and how I am – how ever fucking sensitive I am – I don’t need to change a single thing.

Even if being sensitive is hard and scary sometimes, it’s a part of who I am. Hiding that part of me, or wishing it away, isn’t brave. Accepting that part of me? Now that’s brave.

Are there parts of you that you’re hiding or wishing away? Let’s not only be brave together, but let’s do our best to support each other too:

“You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing”

The Real MFP LOGO

¹Change of insurance means a change in therapists. I was kinda hoping to keep Dana, The Therapist, but she’s not in network. I tried out Dennis a couple times, but his focus seemed to be on what everyone else in my life was doing wrong – not really my style. Today I had an appointment with Nicole. She seemed okay and she had a copy of Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly on her bookshelf. I figure I’d give her a few more appointments…

 

 

 

Pressing Pause on Pressing Play

When I started as a Team Beachbody coach, I had just had Ankle Fusion #1 and we needed an easier way to make smoothies than this:
Old Smoothie Way

And my friend, Noelle, had a way of making smoothies that not only taste better and were better for us, but they were also waaaay easier to make:

Scoop of Shakeo

Shakeology isn’t “cheap”¹, so I became a “discount coach” to get Shakeology at the Coach price. But, if you know me, then you know that I can get kind of excited and dreamy about things. I started thinking that it would be awesome to really be a coach and build a business by helping people reach their health and fitness goals.

Unfortunately, Ankle Fusion #1 didn’t take and I had to have Ankle Fusion #2 (which worked, thank God!), and then I found out that I’m allergic to my own sweat and the sun, plus I threw my back out, and I also ended up with a cyst on the top of my foot. After struggling with my own health and trying to be a health and fitness coach at the same time, I’ve decided that enough is enough. I’m putting my coaching on pause and focusing on just my own health for the moment.

What does this mean if you’re one of my customers? Well, I’ll still be here to support you and help you if you have any questions, but if you would like or need more support than what I can give you (like free Facebook support groups, etc.), I’m going to refer you to my coach. Noelle is awesome and I know that if you love me, you will super love her. Just give me a shout out and I’ll get the two of you hooked up.

And you just never know, I might kick ass on all these physical setbacks and become an active coach again – until then? I’ll still be making smoothies the easy and nutritious way – SHAKEO!

The Real MFP LOGO

¹Cheap isn’t a good or bad thing, it just is.

According to FastFoodMenuPrices.com a McDonald’s Big Mac Extra Value Meal is $5.69 and according to Team Beachbody’s site a serving of Shakeology is $4.33 (This is regular retail price. Coaches get 25% off so it would be $3.25 at coach price.) To me, this seems like McDonald’s is expensive – but cheap on nutrition. While Shakeo isn’t as expensive – but it kicks butt on nutrition.

Career choices for forty (plus) year old stay-at-home moms are?

LIMITED! They’re seriously limited.

As a stay-at-home mom, we’ve sacrificed most of our career building time for family building time. Which is great! But now that our kids need us home less and less, most of us would like to figure out a way to make some money. Especially a way that’s flexible and we can do from home or make our own schedule. And this magical career probably doesn’t require a college degree either, a lot of us either didn’t start college or gave up on it when we started having kids and chose to stay home.

So what’s a gal to do? Brush up on computer skills and get an entry level job at places like our vet’s office or a similar type small business? Go back to college and spend THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of dollars getting a degree for a career that we’ll only have 15-20 years to work in…just enough time to pay off those student loans? Try our hand at places like McDonalds or Papa Murphy’s, because they have good advancement opportunities and pretty flexible schedules?

Or I have an even better idea for you…

There are only 100 days until Christmas! 100 days until Christmas(I know…don’t throw a snowball at me just yet!) That means that we’re coming up on one of the busiest buying seasons of the year. AND if you can get in with a company that has an incredible product, you could set yourself up with a really fun, rewarding, and prosperous career!

I happened to stumble across an AMAZING company over the weekend while looking for personalized jewelry. It’s Aluzi Skye. Their stuff is fantastic! They have a Mimzi line which is a lot like Pandora bracelets, a sterling silver name bracelet line, a Loxi line which is a lot like Origami Owl lockets, and a super cool line called Pizie Pops: necklaces, earrings, bracelets, or rings, that with a quick “pop”, you can change them up!

Pixie Pop Collage 2

I can assure you all of their line will make excellent gifts for the upcoming holidays. They have stuff in all price ranges, AND they’re adding even more affordable products to their line over the weekend!

Tonight, Deb ,the founder of Aluzi Skye is going to be hosting a Listen & Learn call. I’m going to highly encourage you, no wait…I’m going to bribe you to get on this call and listen! It’s for your own good. After you listen to the call, email me your name and phone number at princess@themfp.com. I’ll verify with the home office that you were on the call, and then I’m going to GIVE YOU A $5.00 gift certificate to my store¹ just for listening. No strings attached! Just FREE money! 

Here are the details of the call:

TONIGHT at 8:45 ET! (7:45 CT, 6:45 MT, 5:45 PT)

You can login here from your computer: http://fuze.me/26025250
OR call in at this number: 201-479-4595
Meeting number: 26025250

Make sure you let them know that I sent you! (Kimberly Olson – They don’t know I’m The Mother Freakin’ Princess…yet. LOL!)

The Real MFP LOGO

¹This offer is only good today, if you participate in the Listen & Learn call. The $5.00 gift certificate must be used in my Azuli Skye store and does not expire. If you’re interested in learning how you can earn jewelry for FREE, email me and we can talk about setting up a party! Either online or in person, depending on your location!

My friend, Sue, started my self-destruct sequence. I might not ever forgive her. – AKA: I turn 42 next week

I have a really awesome friend named Sue. We both have kids the same age, a husband, and dogs. She’s funny, pretty, stylish, and a great conversationalist. (When we start talking it’s hard to stop!¹ I could talk to her for hours and hours.) Sue’s also eight years just a little older than me, so I consider her to be a tiny bit wiser than myself but I don’t think she’s all that much smarter than I am.

I remember a particular conversation we had before self destructI turned 40. She told me all about becoming an “old lady”. I laughed. No really. I laughed at her. I mean for serious? Forty is NOT old. It’s not like you turn forty and your self-destruct sequence is automatically engaged, then you start falling apart one piece at a time.

Sue said, “That’s pretty much what happens. You turn forty and start falling apart one piece at a time.”

I laughed at her some more. She might not have been too happy with me that day, but she wears a good poker face and didn’t show her probable annoyance with a “silly, young, soon to be forty year old, girl” like myself.

15003-Best-Part-Of-Being-Over-40Well, I turned 40 a couple years ago. And holy hell…I’ve been falling apart piece by piece ever since! Sue was right! GAH!

Here’s the thing over the last year, doctor after doctor, my chiropractor, and my physical therapists have said something like “especially at your age” a few too many times. I guess I need to start listening.

According to Livestrong.com and other internet sites, here’s what happens to us women when we turn 40:

  • Muscle Loss, especially in our core
  • Weight Gain
  • Loss of Flexibility
  • Bone Loss
  • Breast Cancer
  • Perimenopausal Symptoms
  • Thyroid Changes
  • Loss of Pancreas Function and Other Hormone Changes

So…what can we do about this? Ideally we find ways to eat better, workout smarter, and reduce our stress.

Every single health professional I’ve seen lately has encouraged me to continue with PiYo. What is PiYo you say? It’s Chalene Johnson’s brainchild that combines Pilates with Yoga to give you the most effective zero/low impact workout for flexibility, balance, and strength. Pretty much the VERY thing us ladies in our 40’s (or more) need.

I re-started PiYo this week because I’m not letting my 40s kick my ass without a fight and I’d love for you to join me, because everyone should really be doing PiYo! <click here to learn more about PiYo>

Oh, and Sue has something to say to us forty year olds for when we turn 50:

photo (2)

The Real MFP LOGO

¹When I say it’s hard to stop talking with Sue, I really mean it. Just ask my husband or kids who’ve been stuck in the car waiting for me to “run in quick” to pick up our youngest. They may or may not have waited a short eternity.

One Positive + Two Negatives = I hate math.

My ankle is fused. It’s totally amazing and awesome. Over the last few months I’ve done all sorts of cool things:

Nathan and I after riding our mountain bike on some sweet single track!
Nathan and I after riding our mountain bike on some sweet single track!

 

  • Walked up and down the stairs without hanging on the the rail.
  • Traversed the sand at our annual Olson Get Together at the Lake
  • Started a workout program: PiYo
  • MOUNTAIN BIKED!
  • Started a Couch to 5K program (AS IN RUNNING!)¹
  • Walked over 6 hours at the State Fair
  • Gotten back to doing most of my “normal” routine

I’d love to tell you that everything is peaches and cream, and life has been blissfully floating by while I rejoice in every minute of every day…

But it hasn’t been exactly like that.

As much as I’ve been enjoying the miracle of my second surgery, I’m struggling with my competence as a mom (again). I don’t understand how being a parent of adult children works. I especially don’t understand the dynamics of when one of them moves back home…but I’m doing my best and that’s all I can really do. Oh, and I’m re-navigating the waters of being a parent of a teenager again too. <sarcastic font> Good times. </sarcastic font>

And it would be great if I could say that having an adult child and newly hormonal teen in the house were my only struggles this summer (because I’m pretty sure I could figure that out). But while I’ve been doing awesome activities that I haven’t been able to do in YEARS, I’ve also found out that I’m allergic to my own sweat and tears. Oh, and the sun. Let’s not forget about my major allergic reaction to the sun. I saw a doctor and words like auto-immune and lupus were tossed around. Are you freakin’ kidding me? I *just* got done healing from ankle fusion number two. I don’t *need* this right now. Fuck.

Picture from Dynamic Medical Services: http://www.dynamicmedicalservices.com/conditions-we-treat/herniated-disc/
Picture from Dynamic Medical Services: http://www.dynamicmedicalservices.com/conditions-we-treat/herniated-disc/

Then last week, Tiara, The Rescue Dog, was having a bad day and I started to bend down to pick up her Thunder Coat and BAM! My back went out. Srsly….What the fuck? I’ve never had my back go out before and I can tell you that it’s not something I’d wish upon anyone. Apparently, I might have a bulging disk (I go for a MRI tomorrow) and the doctor put me on steroids and pain meds. I asked my chiropractor if he thought I’d be okay to go camping over the weekend. He said, “Um, maybe a 50/50 shot, but I don’t recommend it because you just might end up hurting it again.”

There’s a huge part of me that wanted to wallow in The Deep Dark Hole and never come out, because I don’t think life shouldn’t be so difficult². But as I meandered around Target last weekend, looking for a book to keep me company while most of my family went on a mountain bike race/camping weekend, I came across The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, The Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body by Cameron Diaz

I thought, “What the hell. Maybe super-adorable Cameron Diaz can teach me how to love my stupid, sick, broken body. I really don’t have much to lose and I need *something* to do over the long, lonely weekend, so I might as well buy this book.”

The book turned out to be just the thing I needed to read. She went on and on about how cool my body is and how it does all this awesome stuff, plus she gave me insights on how to take better care of it. (All great things to learn as a Team Beachbody Coach!)

But right in the beginning Diaz says, “As women in today’s society, we are encouraged to compare ourselves to other women when what we need to do is focus on our own strengths, our own capabilities, our own beauty.”

Those are the words that sat with me for the weekend and I slowly started focusing on my strengths, capabilities, and my beauty. I felt the darkness lift and I thanked God for my body. Even though my body wasn’t in “perfect” working condition, it was still working, and that’s enough to be thankful for.

The Real MFP LOGO

¹I had to stop my Couch to 5K program until the reaction on my face cleared up. Then I tweaked my back, so I haven’t gotten back to it yet, but it’s totally cool that I was even able to start a C25K program because all the internet says is, “No running after ankle fusion.” Fuck the internet.

²I know…there are so many people who have lives that are tougher, more painful, or going through so much worse than I am and I really need to learn how to focus on the positive. I think the depression has a large part in the “downer” type thinking. I’m working on it. *pinky promise*